THE FIBROMATES JOURNAL

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

December brings a unique charm—one filled with the glow of lights, the scent of evergreens, and the warmth of holiday gatherings. While these are universally cherished parts of the season, personal traditions bring something special, adding a layer of meaning and joy to the holidays. Personal traditions don’t need to follow societal norms or family expectations; they’re about creating moments that resonate with you and bring you comfort and happiness. Here’s how you can embrace personal traditions to make this season truly your own.

1. Start with Simple, Meaningful Moments

Your personal traditions don’t have to be elaborate; sometimes, the simplest moments bring the greatest joy. Consider starting a tradition of setting aside one evening each week in December to cozy up with a favorite book or movie. Light a candle, make a warm drink, and allow yourself to fully relax. This kind of “me time” is a small but powerful way to unwind amid the holiday bustle. Personal traditions like these give you space to savor the season at your own pace, allowing you to fully enjoy the spirit of December without added stress.

2. Incorporate Mindful Rituals

Mindfulness can transform ordinary activities into cherished traditions. Something as simple as a morning gratitude practice can become a grounding ritual for the season. Take a few moments each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for, perhaps jotting them down in a journal. Another mindful ritual could be a quiet evening walk to admire neighborhood holiday lights. Observing the decorations, feeling the crisp air, and taking in the sights can bring a peaceful sense of joy. These mindful moments invite you to slow down, grounding you in a sense of calm and appreciation during a busy time.

3. Create Seasonal Self-Care Routines

December can be hectic, so building a self-care routine as part of your personal tradition can help you feel refreshed. This could involve pampering yourself with a warm bath and calming essential oils or indulging in a DIY spa night at home. Use December as a time to check in with yourself, nurturing your mind and body with care. These routines don’t have to be elaborate—a simple face mask or a few moments of meditation can serve as a gentle reminder that the season is about rest and rejuvenation too. By prioritizing self-care, you’ll feel more balanced and ready to enjoy the festivities.

4. Savor the Little Pleasures

December is filled with sensory delights, from festive treats to cozy blankets, and these small joys can easily become part of your personal traditions. Pick a favorite seasonal recipe—maybe hot cocoa or gingerbread cookies—and make it a special treat to enjoy on a particular day each week. You can also set up a cozy corner at home, with blankets and soft lighting, where you can unwind each evening. These small comforts help create a sense of continuity throughout the month, bringing you moments of calm and joy even on the busiest days.

5. Engage in Creative Activities

If you enjoy creative projects, use December as an opportunity to make something meaningful. You might start a tradition of creating holiday cards, knitting scarves, or baking cookies for friends and neighbors. You could also try crafting ornaments or decorating your space in a way that feels personal to you. Creative activities can be meditative, allowing you to express yourself while making something unique to celebrate the season. The process itself becomes a joyful, memorable experience that adds richness to your personal holiday traditions.

6. Reflect on the Year and Set Intentions

December’s end offers a natural pause, making it a perfect time to reflect on the year and set intentions for the next. Consider making a personal tradition of journaling or writing a letter to yourself each December. Reflect on the moments and lessons of the past year, noting your achievements, challenges, and joys. Then, set a few intentions or goals for the year to come. This reflective ritual doesn’t have to be formal; it’s a way to close out the year with mindfulness and begin the next with purpose. Taking time for reflection helps you feel more connected to your journey, making the holiday season feel deeply meaningful.

7. Celebrate the Season in Your Own Way

One of the best parts of personal traditions is that they’re entirely yours. You don’t need to follow conventional holiday customs if they don’t resonate with you. Perhaps you prefer spending time in nature over attending holiday parties, or maybe you find joy in a quiet evening at home rather than elaborate events. Let go of the idea that traditions need to be shared or approved by others. Instead, focus on what brings you peace and happiness. Embrace traditions that reflect your personality and values, allowing you to feel more authentic in your celebrations.

By taking these steps, you can celebrate the season with simple joys that you choose and that are in line with your new normal.

by Guest Blogger Dale Rockell, Fibro and Photos

It’s very easy to let Fibro take any fun out of life.  The numerous unpredictable and ever fluctuating symptoms, varying day by day with the constant pain, fatigue and impact on cognitive function can make just existing a challenge.  The dreams, ambitions and expectations we, and our family may have had, have to take a back seat as we work out how to navigate our ‘new normal’ without negatively impacting our symptoms too much.  However, to cope it’s vital to look for, or cultivate moments of joy, especially in the everyday things and interactions.

Mindfulness is one of the much-publicized self management techniques for coping with Fibro life, and finding joy in daily activities is mindfulness, being in and appreciating a moment however small, or simple it may seem.  Cultivating a practice of mindfulness to see joy in life is a much-needed distraction from the 24/7 pain, fatigue and other challenges.  It creates the feel happy chemicals our bodies and brain need to boost our immune system and help us rest.

As we head into the holiday season, a stressful time for many that’s full of family and societal expectations, let alone with the challenges of Fibro, how do we cultivate simple joys?  I have some suggestions that not only apply to this time of year, but by making them habits will be helpful at any time. This is about moments of joy for you, it’s not something you necessarily need to share with others, and it doesn’t matter what others think of a situation that brings you joy.  

Reframing your thinking and focus is the easiest way to see the simple joys that may already exist in your life, then it will be easier to cultivate new ones.

Hit pause, stop, listen and observe. As a photographer I am increasingly capturing street/candid photography and enjoy just watching and waiting to be able to capture a moment that may tell a story.

Sit in a cafe and watch the world go by while you slowly enjoy the sensation of your favourite beverage, (put your phone away!). A large oat milk decaf latte please! 

Go for a walk, especially in nature but if that’s not possible just explore your local area, take a different route, or take an evening walk, watch a sunrise or sunset, (my favourite times of day but not easy with Fibro).

Appreciate the times you are with family, however challenging.  

Look up at the night sky.  It blows my mind to try and think of the vastness of space and I have an app that tells me what I’m looking at, (although the experience is not so good for my overly sensitive neck and spine).

Listen to your favourite music or radio station.  As a musician I have a wide range of tastes but music from the 80’s, my teenage years, always brings me joy, but I am also careful to select something that suits my mood or is needed to cope with symptoms, or to create ambience to concentrate or complete a task.  One minute I can be listening to heavy rock, the next I’m listening to pop, jazz, classical or meditative/ambient music.

Laughter is an excellent medicine, especially a full-on belly laugh, take time to watch a favourite comedian or comedy. 

Watch a favourite movie, or go and watch a new one that looks appealing to you, even if it’s by yourself.

If you don’t have time to sit and read, or like me Fibro affects your vision, podcasts and audiobooks are a great way to learn, research and enjoy stories while you go about your day.

Simplify your activities and personal expectations to reduce stress, appreciate and find joy and inner peace in what you are able to do, and who you are able to spend time with. 

Appreciate silence, alone time and your own company.  Life is busy, even if it’s just a few minutes, welcome or cultivate quiet times, sit and breathe and relax. 

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

The holiday season can conjure up so many expectations in our minds. We want to have the perfect meal, and buy gifts for all of our loved ones. We want to attend all the parties we have been invited to and much more. But what if I encouraged you to rethink your expectations during the holidays and set some new traditions for yourself, ones that are in line with your new normal?

Personal traditions have a unique power to make the holiday season feel warm, comforting, and meaningful. By choosing simple, intentional moments that resonate with you, you create a celebration that is both joyful and rejuvenating. From savoring a cup of tea in your favorite mug to taking an evening to reflect on the year, these little rituals bring a sense of purpose and joy to December. As you explore and establish your personal traditions, you’ll discover a deeper appreciation for the season—a celebration that’s entirely your own.

I just love the idea of setting personal traditions, ones that resonate with my life as a fibromate. But I still have all the guilt that goes with living the way I used to, when I was everything to everyone except myself. You see, I was a perfectionist. I wanted everything to be just right.

I was brought up in a Ukrainian/Russian household where my parents celebrated Christmas as if it was one of the biggest holidays. My mom baked and cooked for days in advance. My dad would buy and put up a real tree and decorated the house inside and outside. It was quite a chore to make everything festive.

Fast forward many decades, and I have always wondered what would happen if I simplified the holidays. Would I be able to achieve that without guilt?  I tried in my 30s and 40s, but always got wrapped up in all the festivities. Then I was diagnosed with fibro. And despite the fact that I wanted to continue how I did things before the onset of fibro, I knew this was no longer working.

So, a few years ago, I decided that things couldn’t continue as these use to during the holidays. I had a family meeting so that we can all agree how to simplify our festivities and yet still enjoy our time together. It became apparent while we chatted that we were all tired of how we were doing things. We were tired of the traditions that we created out of habit that were no longer serving us. So, we realized we had to change things.

Since then, we have made major changes to our holiday celebrations by creating simple rituals. The most important change was resting and doing quieter and more peaceful things. No longer did my husband and I feel compelled to go to every party we were invited to. There were many evenings that we just sat and enjoyed a cup of coco beside the fireplace and read.

We also stopped buying endless gifts but set a monetary limit on how much we were to spend for each of our family members and friends. This helped avoid all the shopping and the stress of finding parking in a very busy mall.

Do I still feel the guilt of not celebrating the holidays as I did in my childhood home? Yes, of course I do. But I have come to realize that my peace and well-being are far more important than long standing habitual traditions that no longer serve me or my family. Who said I had to keep doing same things that weren’t working?

How can you change the traditions that no longer serve you?