Simplifying Christmas Traditions

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

The holiday season can conjure up so many expectations in our minds. We want to have the perfect meal, and buy gifts for all of our loved ones. We want to attend all the parties we have been invited to and much more. But what if I encouraged you to rethink your expectations during the holidays and set some new traditions for yourself, ones that are in line with your new normal?

Personal traditions have a unique power to make the holiday season feel warm, comforting, and meaningful. By choosing simple, intentional moments that resonate with you, you create a celebration that is both joyful and rejuvenating. From savoring a cup of tea in your favorite mug to taking an evening to reflect on the year, these little rituals bring a sense of purpose and joy to December. As you explore and establish your personal traditions, you’ll discover a deeper appreciation for the season—a celebration that’s entirely your own.

I just love the idea of setting personal traditions, ones that resonate with my life as a fibromate. But I still have all the guilt that goes with living the way I used to, when I was everything to everyone except myself. You see, I was a perfectionist. I wanted everything to be just right.

I was brought up in a Ukrainian/Russian household where my parents celebrated Christmas as if it was one of the biggest holidays. My mom baked and cooked for days in advance. My dad would buy and put up a real tree and decorated the house inside and outside. It was quite a chore to make everything festive.

Fast forward many decades, and I have always wondered what would happen if I simplified the holidays. Would I be able to achieve that without guilt?  I tried in my 30s and 40s, but always got wrapped up in all the festivities. Then I was diagnosed with fibro. And despite the fact that I wanted to continue how I did things before the onset of fibro, I knew this was no longer working.

So, a few years ago, I decided that things couldn’t continue as these use to during the holidays. I had a family meeting so that we can all agree how to simplify our festivities and yet still enjoy our time together. It became apparent while we chatted that we were all tired of how we were doing things. We were tired of the traditions that we created out of habit that were no longer serving us. So, we realized we had to change things.

Since then, we have made major changes to our holiday celebrations by creating simple rituals. The most important change was resting and doing quieter and more peaceful things. No longer did my husband and I feel compelled to go to every party we were invited to. There were many evenings that we just sat and enjoyed a cup of coco beside the fireplace and read.

We also stopped buying endless gifts but set a monetary limit on how much we were to spend for each of our family members and friends. This helped avoid all the shopping and the stress of finding parking in a very busy mall.

Do I still feel the guilt of not celebrating the holidays as I did in my childhood home? Yes, of course I do. But I have come to realize that my peace and well-being are far more important than long standing habitual traditions that no longer serve me or my family. Who said I had to keep doing same things that weren’t working?

How can you change the traditions that no longer serve you?