THE FIBROMATES JOURNAL

by Dale Rockell, Guest Blogger

Recommendations for coping with, and hopefully improving, function with fibro seem contradictory due to the significant impact of fatigue, pain and brain fog. Your body and brain are telling you to do ‘nothing’, to start to think about self-management and what is involved can be overwhelming and daunting, so where do you start?

Whatever your personal level of function, self-care and nurturing has to be the starting point to cope with fibro life, but doesn’t start with doing, it starts with our thoughts, but where do you begin?

Learn to accept where you are

The challenges you have and the limitations your condition places upon you aren’t easy. You may have lost a lot due to fibro. However, what you think and say to yourself is an essential step in self-care and nurturing a new ‘normal’. Reframing negative thoughts about your situation goes a long way to being able to accept and confidently implement boundaries, both personal and with others.

Speak kindly to and about yourself

Use mindfulness to catch yourself when you’re spiralling into negativity. Don’t put yourself down, fibro is not your fault, and to be honest, the rest of society needs to catch up and realise this. Be true to yourself and if the opportunity arises, be open and honest with others about your challenges, not to gain sympathy but to share and hopefully educate.

Don’t measure yourself against others

Living with fibro, you can no longer measure yourself against what the productivity, economy obsessed world expects us all to be or do, or what you hoped your life would be. Be gentle towards your situation, especially accepting what you can’t change. Fibro forces you to reassess your abilities and options, and what you may be able to do, albeit at a reduced capacity, or going it alone at a self-imposed pace.

Persevere to create new habits

It takes about three weeks to create a new habit, then it will become a new normal, and the best bit, much less effort. By deliberately noticing when you are following negative thoughts, it will soon become second nature to stop yourself, reframe and move on. None of us will ever be perfect but some change is better than none.

Learn to be happy with what and who you have in your life

This probably changed when fibro took hold. Be careful of your thoughts, wondering why people became distant or walked away. Or, why some people are sceptical about your new limitations. You need this energy to look after YOU.

Focus on what you can do in any given moment or day

Pacing is essential to self-nurture, get to know how to cope within your reduced abilities, and be honest with yourself about your limitations, preferably before you overdo it. There will be days you want to, or have to push your limits, accept and plan for recovery afterwards.

Acknowledge improvements and little wins

Be mindful of the difference changes make to your life, especially the reduction in stress, a known factor in causing fibro flares.

Don’t write off self-management advice

Carefully consider where you can make small, incremental steps to test the water, if necessary, acquire disability aids that may help you. When fibro really knocked me sideways, I could barely walk around the block, but over time, and after reluctantly acquiring a walking stick, I built my confidence and stamina to get out and about.

Distract yourself

Look for opportunities to distract yourself from constantly thinking about fibro. Do something that absorbs you and makes you feel good; for example, watch a movie, go for a walk, listen to, or play music, read a book, or start a creative hobby.

Finally, only you can make the necessary changes, however small, to ensure you are caring for and nurturing yourself, and it all starts with the power of your thoughts.

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

Each year, millions commit to resolutions or set goals, hoping to improve their lives. While the two terms are often used interchangeably, they represent distinct approaches to personal growth and achievement. Understanding the difference between resolutions and goals can help you choose the right strategy to turn aspirations into reality.

What Are Resolutions?

Resolutions are declarations of intent, often rooted in personal values or a desire for self-improvement. They are typically broad, aspirational statements such as “I will eat healthier,” “I will save money,” or “I will exercise more.” Resolutions focus on the end result and serve as a promise to oneself to make a change.

The strength of resolutions lies in their motivational power. They tap into your vision for a better future and inspire action. However, resolutions often fail because they lack specificity or a structured plan for implementation. For instance, a resolution like “I want to lose weight” might not provide clear steps or measurable progress, leading to frustration or abandonment.

What Are Goals?

Goals, on the other hand, are specific, actionable, and measurable objectives. Unlike resolutions, which are often abstract, goals focus on how to achieve a desired outcome. For example, instead of resolving to “save money,” a goal might be, “I will save $500 per month for the next six months by reducing dining expenses and creating a budget.”

The effectiveness of goals lies in their clarity. Goals provide a roadmap for progress, breaking a larger aspiration into smaller, achievable tasks. They often follow the SMART framework—Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-bound—making them more actionable and less overwhelming.

Here are some key differences between resolutions and goals.

1. Focus:
   Resolutions emphasize the what—the desired change or improvement. Goals emphasize the how—the steps needed to achieve that change.
2. Structure:
   Resolutions are often vague and lack a concrete plan, while goals are detailed, with a clear timeline and milestones.
3. Accountability:
   Resolutions rely on willpower and self-discipline, but goals encourage accountability through measurable progress and specific deadlines.
4. Flexibility:
   Resolutions can feel rigid; breaking them often feels like failure. Goals are more adaptable, allowing adjustments as circumstances evolve.

Why Goals Outperform Resolutions

The primary reason goals are more effective than resolutions is because they are action-oriented. While resolutions inspire, goals transform inspiration into tangible progress, goals encourage consistency, focus, and adaptability, increasing the likelihood of success.

For example, if your resolution is to “get fit,” it might feel overwhelming without direction. Setting goals like “attend the gym three times a week” or “run a 5K by April” provides actionable steps that build momentum over time.

Further, goals foster a growth mindset by celebrating incremental achievements. Completing smaller tasks builds confidence, reinforcing the belief that larger aspirations are attainable. Resolutions, by contrast, can feel discouraging if progress isn’t immediate.

Although goals tend to be more effective, resolutions still have value. They provide the vision and motivation that spark the journey toward self-improvement. Combining the two can maximize success.

Start with a resolution to identify your overarching aspiration. For example, “I want to live a healthier lifestyle.” Then, break this resolution into smaller, actionable goals such as:

• Drink eight glasses of water daily.
• Prepare home-cooked meals five days a week.
• Walk 10,000 steps per day.

By pairing the inspiration of a resolution with the structure of goals, you create a sustainable path to success.

While resolutions and goals share the common purpose of self-improvement, their differences are significant. Resolutions provide the vision, while goals supply the actionable steps. To achieve lasting change, focus on setting clear, measurable goals rooted in your resolutions. By blending motivation with strategy, you can turn aspirations into accomplishments, one step at a time.

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

Happy New Year Everyone!

Many of us feel less than others because of our fibromyalgia. We feel slower and less able to live a life that’s fulfilling and meaningful.

Most people set resolutions at this time of year. As the clock strikes midnight, people are filled with hope and happiness. But is this really the way it is with fibromates?

For the first decade after I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I always dreaded January 1^st. I believed that it was going to be the same old stuff again this year, pain, fatigue, sleepless nights, stress, and an uptick of my other comorbidities.

At the end of 2015, I had an aha moment while I was journalling. I wondered what if I changed my mindset towards getting ready for a brand-new year? What if instead of dreading the upcoming year because of all the hopelessness that I was feeling inside my heart, I reframed my thoughts?

Friends, that made a real difference for me in not only creating positive intentions for the new year but also having a happy and purposive year.

Instead of focusing on all the things I couldn’t do, I started focusing on what I can do, such as pace myself, start a gratitude practice, slow down so that I can enjoy things more, and especially to be self-compassionate and kind to myself.

The benefits of changing my mindset were quite immediate. I was able to enjoy the new year more and I no longer dreaded midnight on January 1^st. Instead, I started looking forward to it with anticipation and hope.

I started setting small, realistic goals, working within my abilities and comorbidities, forgiving myself if I didn’t complete goals that I set out to accomplish because I was having a bad day or week, and above all being self-compassionate towards myself. No longer did I push myself to do things that I knew would only make me feel worse and experience more pain.

Friends, we must remember that we’re not damaged individuals just because we have fibro. We don’t have to resolve to a minimalist life where we just do the minimum. Because when we do, our self-esteem and identity will be impacted.

Instead, we need to approach each year with determination that we can pursue our goals, we can live a life that’s purposive and meaningful, and we can do so in such a way that will give us more hope and resilience.

Fibromyalgia need not rob you of your true identity and self-worth. You can still set and complete goals. You just have to set realistic goals that you can comfortably complete, with space for those hard days when you may have to practice self-compassion and take the day off.

So why not sit down and set some goals for yourself? This month, I will discuss how you can set small, achievable goals. In the meantime, sit down and write down five things you’d like to achieve this year.

May your year be filled with happiness, love, purpose, and self-compassion!

Lots of Love!