Nurturing Your Thoughts Will Help Cope With Fibromyalgia

by Dale Rockell, Guest Blogger

Recommendations for coping with, and hopefully improving, function with fibro seem contradictory due to the significant impact of fatigue, pain and brain fog. Your body and brain are telling you to do ‘nothing’, to start to think about self-management and what is involved can be overwhelming and daunting, so where do you start?

Whatever your personal level of function, self-care and nurturing has to be the starting point to cope with fibro life, but doesn’t start with doing, it starts with our thoughts, but where do you begin?

Learn to accept where you are

The challenges you have and the limitations your condition places upon you aren’t easy. You may have lost a lot due to fibro. However, what you think and say to yourself is an essential step in self-care and nurturing a new ‘normal’. Reframing negative thoughts about your situation goes a long way to being able to accept and confidently implement boundaries, both personal and with others.

Speak kindly to and about yourself

Use mindfulness to catch yourself when you’re spiralling into negativity. Don’t put yourself down, fibro is not your fault, and to be honest, the rest of society needs to catch up and realise this. Be true to yourself and if the opportunity arises, be open and honest with others about your challenges, not to gain sympathy but to share and hopefully educate.

Don’t measure yourself against others

Living with fibro, you can no longer measure yourself against what the productivity, economy obsessed world expects us all to be or do, or what you hoped your life would be. Be gentle towards your situation, especially accepting what you can’t change. Fibro forces you to reassess your abilities and options, and what you may be able to do, albeit at a reduced capacity, or going it alone at a self-imposed pace.

Persevere to create new habits

It takes about three weeks to create a new habit, then it will become a new normal, and the best bit, much less effort. By deliberately noticing when you are following negative thoughts, it will soon become second nature to stop yourself, reframe and move on. None of us will ever be perfect but some change is better than none.

Learn to be happy with what and who you have in your life

This probably changed when fibro took hold. Be careful of your thoughts, wondering why people became distant or walked away. Or, why some people are sceptical about your new limitations. You need this energy to look after YOU.

Focus on what you can do in any given moment or day

Pacing is essential to self-nurture, get to know how to cope within your reduced abilities, and be honest with yourself about your limitations, preferably before you overdo it. There will be days you want to, or have to push your limits, accept and plan for recovery afterwards.

Acknowledge improvements and little wins

Be mindful of the difference changes make to your life, especially the reduction in stress, a known factor in causing fibro flares.

Don’t write off self-management advice

Carefully consider where you can make small, incremental steps to test the water, if necessary, acquire disability aids that may help you. When fibro really knocked me sideways, I could barely walk around the block, but over time, and after reluctantly acquiring a walking stick, I built my confidence and stamina to get out and about.

Distract yourself

Look for opportunities to distract yourself from constantly thinking about fibro. Do something that absorbs you and makes you feel good; for example, watch a movie, go for a walk, listen to, or play music, read a book, or start a creative hobby.

Finally, only you can make the necessary changes, however small, to ensure you are caring for and nurturing yourself, and it all starts with the power of your thoughts.