THE FIBROMATES JOURNAL

by Breanna Gehl, Guest Blogger

Otto Ought and Wanda Want are next-door neighbors living side-by-side in an old-fashioned townhouse. The grass of Mr. Ought’s property is trimmed just-so. His side of the hedge is cut with precision, and his house is painted a practical tone of brick red with a sturdy, oak door. He likes it this way, and works hard to achieve a home of structure. Mr. Ought is full of thought and works tirelessly to accomplish his goals.

 Mrs. Want grows a meadow-like flower field across her lawn that attracts bees and hummingbirds. Her house is painted a pastel lavender, with a pink, polka-dot door. Outside her house is a little rusted swinging bench, and stacks of wood that she will get to organizing -eventually. Mr. Ought says she ought to sort through that wood before it rots. Mrs. Want says she doesn’t want to, and she can’t stand the plainness of his perfectly-trimmed posies. He cuts the tops off any flowers above 12 inches high; a dreadful sight to behold Mrs. Want’s eyes. 

Although they don’t always agree with each other’s ideas, Mrs. Want and Mr. Ought see the value in each other’s way of living. Mrs. Want struggles to overcome larger tasks, and Mr. Ought will often stop by to fix any cracks or leaks in her home. Mr. Ought benefits from the lovely hummingbirds who come to visit his neighbor’s garden and the warm honey tarts she brings with her; compliments of her beehive.

The Balance of Ought and Want leads to a friendly relationship. Instead of fighting each other, they discuss and consider. Together, Ought and Want helps us to overcome the heaviness of everyday life and develop a sense of self-respect and self-love. Without Want, Ought is distressed; without Ought, Want is a mess. With determination and cooperation, the pair are truly blessed.

This gentle partnership offers an important lesson for fibromates, especially when it comes to self-love. Fibromyalgia fills our minds with many oughts—I ought to do more, push harder, or keep up with others. But self-love allows space for “want”: I want to rest. I want to listen to my body. I want to honor my limits. True self-love is not choosing one voice over the other, but letting them work together with compassion. Ought gives us direction, while Want gives us kindness. And in that balance, we learn to treat ourselves not with judgment, but with care.

Hi everybody, my name is Breanna and I’m from Kitchener, Ontario. I’ve had chronic pain ever since I can remember, but I haven’t let that stop me from accomplishing great things. Five years ago, I got my Bachelor of Environmental Studies at the University of Waterloo. Before September of 2025, I was a caregiver, chef, and nurse for my disabled dog, Koda. Now that he’s gone, I’m finding myself again and trying new things. My favourite, current projects are creative writing and fiber art.

 Mentally, I’m working through my understanding of perfectionism, and my value as someone who isn’t built for physical utility. Some days my ambitions make me feel like a Ferrari in a ditch; spinning its wheels and getting nowhere fast. I’m learning how to reconnect with myself and love the little things life offers us at a slow pace, such as a warm cup of tea and a bit of humor. These can go a long way for those of us who struggle to make peace with our challenges.

By Irene Roth/Blog Editor

If the body is a messenger, self-love is the skill that helps you read the message accurately—without panic, judgment, or denial. Without self-love, we often misread the body’s signals. We catastrophize: This will never end. Or we minimize: It’s nothing—just push through. Self-love creates a third option: This matters, and I can respond with care.

Self-love doesn’t turn you into someone who never struggles. It turns you into someone who doesn’t abandon yourself when you struggle. That’s why self-love is so essential for anyone living with ongoing symptoms, chronic stress, or fluctuating energy. It keeps you connected to your body instead of at war with it.

When you practice self-love, you begin to interpret body signals as meaningful data rather than personal failure. Fatigue might be the body asking for restoration. Tension might be the body asking for boundaries. A flare might be the body asking for a slower rhythm. Self-love helps you respond with respect: adjust your schedule, simplify your expectations, and protect your energy.

Self-love also widens the “message range.” You don’t only notice when the body is in trouble—you also notice when the body feels safe. You recognize the moments of ease: a calmer breath, a lighter mood, a less tight neck, a steady stomach. Those moments become clues about what supports you. The body isn’t only warning; it’s also guiding you toward what works.

A powerful way self-love highlights the body’s messages is by reducing shame. Shame makes us hide symptoms, hide needs, and hide limits. It makes us push past our capacity and then feel guilty when we crash. Self-love replaces shame with dignity: My needs are valid. My body is worthy of respect. I can live within my limits without apologizing.

Self-love also invites gentler rituals that keep communication open: a short body scan before bed, a stretch in the morning, a pause between tasks, a glass of water with intention. These rituals aren’t about perfection. They’re about staying in relationship with yourself. The more consistent the relationship, the clearer the messages become.

Here’s a simple self-love statement to use when your body speaks loudly:
“Thank you, body. I’m listening. I will respond with care.”
It may feel strange at first, but it shifts your internal stance from resistance to partnership.

Ultimately, seeing the body as a messenger is not about romanticizing pain or ignoring medical care. It’s about recognizing that your body is always communicating in the language of sensations and signals. Self-love is the translator. It helps you move from confusion to clarity, from self-blame to self-support, and from survival mode to a life that fits your real needs.

And over time, this approach builds trust: your body learns it doesn’t need to shout to be heard. Even small, early signals—irritability, brain fog, tight shoulders, a heavy chest—become useful prompts to pause, hydrate, stretch, simplify, or reach for support. In that way, self-love doesn’t just soothe the message; it helps you respond sooner, kinder, and more wisely.

Reviewed by Irene Roth/Blog Editor

Living with fibromyalgia can often feel invisible to others. Many fibromates struggle not only with pain and fatigue, but also with feeling misunderstood, isolated, or defined by their illness. Talia Hibbert’s Get a Life, Chloe Brown offers something deeply meaningful: a main character with fibromyalgia who is strong, complex, and fully human. This novel is both validating and uplifting, making it an excellent fiction choice for fibromates.

Chloe Brown, the protagonist, lives with fibromyalgia, and her condition affects every aspect of her life. She experiences chronic pain, fatigue, and limitations that require careful pacing and self-awareness. Hibbert portrays Chloe’s illness with realism and sensitivity. Chloe must plan her days carefully, manage her energy, and cope with the frustration of not always being able to do what she wants. These experiences will feel immediately familiar to many fibromates.

One of the most powerful aspects of the novel is how it validates the emotional experience of chronic illness. Chloe often feels vulnerable and cautious because her body is unpredictable. She has learned through difficult experiences that pushing herself too hard can result in painful flare-ups. This reflects the reality that many fibromates face daily. The book shows that fibromyalgia is not simply a physical condition—it shapes one’s emotional world as well.

At the same time, Chloe is not defined solely by her illness. She is intelligent, witty, creative, and determined. After a near-death experience, Chloe creates a list of things she wants to do to “get a life.” Her goal is to step outside her comfort zone and rediscover herself beyond the limitations imposed by fibromyalgia. This journey is deeply inspiring because it reflects the experience of many fibromates who must rebuild their identity after diagnosis.

The novel also explores the importance of pacing and self-respect. Chloe learns to listen to her body and honor its needs. She recognizes that rest is not weakness, but wisdom. This message is especially important for fibromates, who often struggle with guilt about needing rest. The book reinforces the idea that respecting one’s limitations is an act of self-care and self-love.

Another meaningful aspect of the story is how it addresses the invisibility of chronic illness. Chloe’s pain is not always visible to others, and she sometimes worries that people will not understand or believe her. Many fibromates share this experience. The novel validates these feelings and reminds readers that their experiences are real and deserving of respect.

Despite addressing serious themes, the book is also filled with warmth, humor, and hope. Chloe’s journey is ultimately one of self-acceptance. She learns that her illness does not diminish her worth or her ability to live a meaningful life. She discovers strength within herself and learns to embrace who she is, including her limitations.

What makes this book especially powerful for fibromates is that it offers representation. Seeing a character with fibromyalgia living a full, meaningful life can be incredibly validating. It reminds readers that they are not alone and that their lives can still hold joy, purpose, and connection.

This novel is particularly appropriate for fibromates who are struggling with identity after diagnosis. Chloe’s journey reflects the process of redefining oneself and finding new ways to live fully despite chronic illness. Her story offers hope and encouragement without minimizing the challenges of fibromyalgia.

Overall, Get a Life, Chloe Brown is a deeply affirming and empowering novel for fibromates. It portrays fibromyalgia with honesty, compassion, and respect. It reminds readers that while fibromyalgia may change their lives, it does not define their worth or their potential.

Most importantly, Chloe’s story shows that even with chronic illness, it is possible to rediscover oneself, embrace life, and move forward with courage and self-compassion.