THE FIBROMATES JOURNAL

by Guest Blogger Dale Rockell, Fibro and Photos

It’s very easy to let Fibro take any fun out of life.  The numerous unpredictable and ever fluctuating symptoms, varying day by day with the constant pain, fatigue and impact on cognitive function can make just existing a challenge.  The dreams, ambitions and expectations we, and our family may have had, have to take a back seat as we work out how to navigate our ‘new normal’ without negatively impacting our symptoms too much.  However, to cope it’s vital to look for, or cultivate moments of joy, especially in the everyday things and interactions.

Mindfulness is one of the much-publicized self management techniques for coping with Fibro life, and finding joy in daily activities is mindfulness, being in and appreciating a moment however small, or simple it may seem.  Cultivating a practice of mindfulness to see joy in life is a much-needed distraction from the 24/7 pain, fatigue and other challenges.  It creates the feel happy chemicals our bodies and brain need to boost our immune system and help us rest.

As we head into the holiday season, a stressful time for many that’s full of family and societal expectations, let alone with the challenges of Fibro, how do we cultivate simple joys?  I have some suggestions that not only apply to this time of year, but by making them habits will be helpful at any time. This is about moments of joy for you, it’s not something you necessarily need to share with others, and it doesn’t matter what others think of a situation that brings you joy.  

Reframing your thinking and focus is the easiest way to see the simple joys that may already exist in your life, then it will be easier to cultivate new ones.

Hit pause, stop, listen and observe. As a photographer I am increasingly capturing street/candid photography and enjoy just watching and waiting to be able to capture a moment that may tell a story.

Sit in a cafe and watch the world go by while you slowly enjoy the sensation of your favourite beverage, (put your phone away!). A large oat milk decaf latte please! 

Go for a walk, especially in nature but if that’s not possible just explore your local area, take a different route, or take an evening walk, watch a sunrise or sunset, (my favourite times of day but not easy with Fibro).

Appreciate the times you are with family, however challenging.  

Look up at the night sky.  It blows my mind to try and think of the vastness of space and I have an app that tells me what I’m looking at, (although the experience is not so good for my overly sensitive neck and spine).

Listen to your favourite music or radio station.  As a musician I have a wide range of tastes but music from the 80’s, my teenage years, always brings me joy, but I am also careful to select something that suits my mood or is needed to cope with symptoms, or to create ambience to concentrate or complete a task.  One minute I can be listening to heavy rock, the next I’m listening to pop, jazz, classical or meditative/ambient music.

Laughter is an excellent medicine, especially a full-on belly laugh, take time to watch a favourite comedian or comedy. 

Watch a favourite movie, or go and watch a new one that looks appealing to you, even if it’s by yourself.

If you don’t have time to sit and read, or like me Fibro affects your vision, podcasts and audiobooks are a great way to learn, research and enjoy stories while you go about your day.

Simplify your activities and personal expectations to reduce stress, appreciate and find joy and inner peace in what you are able to do, and who you are able to spend time with. 

Appreciate silence, alone time and your own company.  Life is busy, even if it’s just a few minutes, welcome or cultivate quiet times, sit and breathe and relax. 

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

The holiday season can conjure up so many expectations in our minds. We want to have the perfect meal, and buy gifts for all of our loved ones. We want to attend all the parties we have been invited to and much more. But what if I encouraged you to rethink your expectations during the holidays and set some new traditions for yourself, ones that are in line with your new normal?

Personal traditions have a unique power to make the holiday season feel warm, comforting, and meaningful. By choosing simple, intentional moments that resonate with you, you create a celebration that is both joyful and rejuvenating. From savoring a cup of tea in your favorite mug to taking an evening to reflect on the year, these little rituals bring a sense of purpose and joy to December. As you explore and establish your personal traditions, you’ll discover a deeper appreciation for the season—a celebration that’s entirely your own.

I just love the idea of setting personal traditions, ones that resonate with my life as a fibromate. But I still have all the guilt that goes with living the way I used to, when I was everything to everyone except myself. You see, I was a perfectionist. I wanted everything to be just right.

I was brought up in a Ukrainian/Russian household where my parents celebrated Christmas as if it was one of the biggest holidays. My mom baked and cooked for days in advance. My dad would buy and put up a real tree and decorated the house inside and outside. It was quite a chore to make everything festive.

Fast forward many decades, and I have always wondered what would happen if I simplified the holidays. Would I be able to achieve that without guilt?  I tried in my 30s and 40s, but always got wrapped up in all the festivities. Then I was diagnosed with fibro. And despite the fact that I wanted to continue how I did things before the onset of fibro, I knew this was no longer working.

So, a few years ago, I decided that things couldn’t continue as these use to during the holidays. I had a family meeting so that we can all agree how to simplify our festivities and yet still enjoy our time together. It became apparent while we chatted that we were all tired of how we were doing things. We were tired of the traditions that we created out of habit that were no longer serving us. So, we realized we had to change things.

Since then, we have made major changes to our holiday celebrations by creating simple rituals. The most important change was resting and doing quieter and more peaceful things. No longer did my husband and I feel compelled to go to every party we were invited to. There were many evenings that we just sat and enjoyed a cup of coco beside the fireplace and read.

We also stopped buying endless gifts but set a monetary limit on how much we were to spend for each of our family members and friends. This helped avoid all the shopping and the stress of finding parking in a very busy mall.

Do I still feel the guilt of not celebrating the holidays as I did in my childhood home? Yes, of course I do. But I have come to realize that my peace and well-being are far more important than long standing habitual traditions that no longer serve me or my family. Who said I had to keep doing same things that weren’t working?

How can you change the traditions that no longer serve you?

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

As we’re all aware, living with fibromyalgia presents a unique set of challenges that affect both the body and mind. With chronic pain, fatigue, and cognitive issues (often called “fibro fog”), managing daily life can feel overwhelming. In addition to physical symptoms, emotional and mental well-being can take a toll.

One powerful way to find relief and restore balance is by creating an inner sanctuary—a mental and emotional refuge that helps reduce stress and provide comfort. For those with fibromyalgia, this practice is not just beneficial but, I dare say, essential.

Creating a mental and emotional space for ourselves is about building a personal refuge where you can find peace, clarity, and emotional balance amidst the challenges of living with fibro. You can create such a sanctuary by designating a quiet time and space to get away from it all for a few minutes every day.

Here are some benefits to creating an inner sanctuaryComments 44 Comments in moderation

1. Cope Better with Chronic Pain

Creating an inner sanctuary allows you to develop a mental space that offers relief from the intensity of pain, even if only for a few moments. Visualization techniques, such as imagining a peaceful garden or a serene ocean, can help calm the nervous system, which is often hypersensitive in people with fibro. This mental retreat can reduce stress levels, which tend to fibro symptoms. It’s a way to reconnect with a sense of calm and agency over your well-being.

2. Manage Fibro Fog

Cognitive difficulties, such as memory lapses and trouble concentrating, are common with fibromyalgia. These symptoms can lead to frustration and anxiety. Creating an inner sanctuary can serve as a safe mental haven where you can practice mindfulness, grounding exercises, or deep breathing to clear your mind. By regularly retreating to this inner space, you can train yourself to pause and refocus, which can alleviate the stress and mental fatigue associated with fibro fog.

3. Reduce Emotional Stress

Stress is a significant trigger for fibromyalgia flare-ups. Because the body’s response to stress can worsen pain and fatigue, managing emotional well-being is crucial. Creating an inner sanctuary provides a place for emotional healing where you can detach from the pressures of daily life, reflect, and release emotional tension. Whether through visualization, meditation, or prayer, the inner sanctuary serves as a tool to regulate your emotions and cultivate inner peace, reducing the impact of stress on your condition.

4. Restore Sense of Control

Living with fibromyalgia can make you feel like you’ve lost control over your body and your life. Pain, fatigue, and cognitive difficulties can make everyday tasks seem insurmountable, leading to feelings of helplessness. Your inner sanctuary is a space you have full control over. You decide its design, atmosphere, and purpose. Whether it’s a space for meditation, prayer, or simple relaxation, it is yours to shape as you need. This feeling of control over your inner world can help balance the unpredictability of fibromyalgia, restoring a sense of empowerment.

Fibromyalgia is a lifelong condition, and building resilience is key to managing it effectively. An inner sanctuary can help you nurture that resilience. It serves as a reminder that even in the face of physical pain and emotional struggle, you have a space of calm within you. Regularly returning to your sanctuary reinforces the idea that peace is always available, no matter what’s happening externally. This practice of self-compassion and mindfulness enhances emotional strength and helps you cope better with the ups and downs of fibro.

5. Build Resilience

For people living with fibromyalgia, creating an inner sanctuary is more than just a relaxation technique. It’s a survival strategy. It provides a refuge from pain, a tool for managing cognitive fog, a way to reduce stress, and a means of restoring control over your life.

By cultivating this internal space, you can develop greater resilience and emotional well-being, making the journey with fibromyalgia more manageable. Your inner sanctuary is a place of healing, peace, and empowerment—accessible at any moment, no matter the external circumstances.