This is a life-changing book about how to self-nurture ourselves from the past, transform our relationship patterns, and come home to ourselves. These are all difficult things to do. However, Sheleana shows us how to do this, step-by-step.
Romantic relationships can infuse our lives with the magic of intimacy and connection if they are healthy. But for many of us, the magic if fleeting. We keep hitting the same walls in love, attracting unavailable or avoidant partners, or repeating patterns that leave us heartbroken. This can lead to low self-esteem and stress, as well as anxiety.
In this book, Sheleana offers a roadmap for transforming our relationship patterns with others. We must start by building a loving relationship with ourselves to end the cycle of self-abandonment. After reading this book, you will have learned how to challenge your core beliefs about love, recognize red and green flags, practice inner child healing, set self-affirming boundaries, and show up authentically in your relationships.
We all want to find love. However, we can’t love others unless we love ourselves first. To do so, we have to self-nurture ourselves from the inside-out. To build a healthy bond with others, we must first stand wholeheartedly in self-acceptance. This book is an invitation to find your way home to yourself.
One of the most important parts of this book is the section on how to self-soothe. Developing how to self-soothe is key to healing ourselves. It’s not about pushing others away or being ultra-independent. It’s about learning how to take ownership of our internal reality. This is what empowers us to know what we need and ask for support from people who can really be there for us.
Self-soothing is empowr4ing because we learn how to understand and support ourselves. We know how to hold ourselves in love by slowing down and listening to our body and communicating with our inner child.
Living with fibromyalgia can often feel like a never-ending roller coaster of fatigue, pain, and frustration. The unpredictability of flare-ups and the emotional toll of chronic illness can leave fibromates feeling depleted and disconnected from themselves. But summer, with its longer days, gentle warmth, and slower pace, offers a perfect opportunity to reset, refresh, and realign with what truly nourishes body and soul. By creating personalized self-care strategies, fibromates can regain a sense of control and prioritize their wellbeing.
Why Self-Care Matters More for Fibromates
Self-care is often misunderstood as indulgent or selfish. But for those living with fibromyalgia, self-care is not a luxury—it’s a necessity. Because fibro affects the nervous system, muscles, sleep, and mental health, an intentional approach to daily care can reduce symptoms, boost resilience, and create a more balanced life. Without some form of self-care strategy in place, it’s easy to fall into cycles of overexertion, flare-ups, and emotional burnout.
So, what does resetting with self-care look like for fibromates?
1. Start with Self-Compassion
The first step to creating a helpful self-care plan is practicing self-compassion. Many fibromates struggle with guilt around rest, especially when comparing themselves to others or their pre-fibro selves. But resetting your mindset to include kindness and understanding toward yourself is essential. Remind yourself often: Rest is not laziness. Slowing down is not failing. It’s an act of strength to listen to your body.
2. Create a Weekly Rhythm, Not a Rigid Routine
Rigid schedules can add pressure and stress, but a gentle weekly rhythm can be grounding. Think of a rhythm as a flexible pattern that honours your energy levels. Include daily anchors like morning stretches, hydration reminders, a nourishing meal, or a wind-down ritual at night. Let your schedule reflect your needs, not the expectations of others. You might even plan in “low energy days” to give yourself margin when flares occur.
3. Plan Micro-Moments of Joy
Resetting doesn’t require big changes. Sometimes, the smallest joys have the greatest impact. Take 5 minutes each morning to sit in the sun, sip your tea slowly, or write one thing you’re grateful for. These micro-moments create a sense of peace and presence. Over time, they become powerful reminders that life holds goodness, even in the midst of pain.
4. Develop a Rest-First Strategy
Fibromates often wait until they crash to rest. A reset means flipping that script: Plan your rest before anything else. Add “quiet time” or “gentle rest” into your calendar like an appointment. Use tools like guided meditations, soft music, or body scans to make rest more restorative. And if sleep is elusive, try calming bedtime rituals like aromatherapy or a warm bath.
5. Connect with Supportive People
Isolation can make fibro symptoms worse. As part of your self-care reset, identify who uplifts you and gently make space for those connections. Whether it’s a weekly check-in with a fellow fibro warrior, joining an online support group, or simply texting a friend, community is healing. You don’t have to face this alone.
6. Reflect and Recalibrate Regularly
Your self-care strategy isn’t one-size-fits-all. Check in with yourself weekly or monthly. What’s working? What’s not? What needs adjusting? Self-care should evolve with your body and your life. Use a simple journal or voice memo to track how you feel and what supports your wellbeing best.
The Takeaway
Resetting with self-care isn’t about perfect plans or magical cures. It’s about creating space—space to breathe, to rest, and to reconnect with your inner wisdom. As a fibromate, you deserve a life where care is not something you squeeze in, but something you prioritize. Summer is the perfect time to begin this gentle reset. Start small, stay kind to yourself, and remember: You are worthy of the care you so often give to others.
Writer, Joseph Nguyen with his book, Don’t Believe Everything You Think
by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer
Summer is often seen as a season of rest, renewal, and a fresh start. The warmer weather, longer days, and slower pace can offer the perfect opportunity for those of us living with fibromyalgia to step back and gently reset—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally too.
One powerful way to do this is by applying the insights from Joseph Nguyen’s book Don’t Believe Everything You Think. This transformative read offers a compassionate yet empowering perspective on how we can change our inner dialogue and break free from the mental suffering that often accompanies chronic pain conditions like fibro.
Here’s how Nguyen’s key messages can support your mindset reset this summer.
1. Recognize That Not Every Thought Is True
One of the book’s central teachings is that our thoughts are not always facts. For fibro warriors, this is a liberating idea. Pain often generates negative or fear-based thinking: “I’ll never get better,” “No one understands what I’m going through,” “I’m lazy because I can’t keep up.” These thoughts can feel very real—but they are not necessarily true.
This summer, try observing your thoughts with a sense of curiosity. When you catch yourself thinking something discouraging, gently ask: Is this absolutely true? Is this helping me? By stepping back from automatic beliefs, you create space for healing, self-compassion, and possibility.
2. Embrace the Present Moment
Nguyen emphasizes that peace is found in the present—not in the future when we feel better, and not in the past before fibromyalgia changed our lives. Mindfulness is a powerful tool for fibromates. Tuning into the present moment—whether it’s the sound of birds, the feeling of sunshine on your skin, or the joy of a cold glass of lemonade—can ground you in calm and clarity.
This summer, let nature guide your mindfulness practice. Go slowly. Spend time outside. Sit in the shade. Feel the breeze. Let go of racing thoughts and reconnect with the now.
3. You Are Not Your Mind
Nguyen makes a profound point: You are not your mind. This means you are not the anxious chatter, the overthinking, or the self-criticism. You are the awareness behind all of that.
Fibromyalgia often clouds our sense of identity. Many of us feel like our diagnosis has taken over our lives. But this summer, give yourself permission to remember: you are more than your illness, more than your pain. Practice being the gentle observer of your thoughts instead of getting caught in them.
4. Reset by Releasing Resistance
When we fight our reality—wishing we didn’t have pain, didn’t have limitations—we create more suffering. Nguyen invites us to release resistance and accept what is with gentleness.
This doesn’t mean giving up. It means choosing peace. Resetting your mindset doesn’t require striving or fixing—it simply asks for a soft shift. Acceptance of where you are right now can actually lead to greater emotional freedom and resilience.
So, if this summer doesn’t look like others, that’s okay. Let it be a season of radical kindness toward yourself.
5. Let Summer Be Your Reset Button
Joseph Nguyen’s book reminds us that suffering begins in the mind—but so does healing. You don’t have to wait for the “perfect” moment to change your mindset. You can begin now, with a breath, a pause, a new way of seeing.
Use the slower rhythm of summer to listen inward. Take walks (even short ones), journal under a tree, read something uplifting, or meditate by an open window. Surround yourself with beauty and nourish your nervous system.
Resetting your mindset doesn’t have to be a grand gesture. It can be quiet, gentle, and deeply personal. Joseph Nguyen’s wisdom offers a beautiful path for fibromates to stop believing the thoughts that hold us back and to start living from a place of peace, presence, and self-love.
This summer, may you reset—not by doing more, but by believing less of what keeps you stuck.
