THE FIBROMATES JOURNAL

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

For many fibromates, doctor visits can be emotionally draining. You might enter the appointment with hope—hoping for validation, answers, a new direction—only to leave feeling dismissed, confused, or worse, invisible. When you live with a chronic illness like fibromyalgia, not being heard by a medical professional can feel like yet another weight to carry.

But a disappointing appointment doesn’t mean your voice doesn’t matter. It doesn’t mean your pain isn’t real. It simply means you now need to turn inward and offer yourself the support, validation, and care that may have been missing in that room.

Here’s how you can support yourself after a less-than-satisfying doctor visit:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings

It’s okay to feel upset, angry, disheartened, or even hopeless after a difficult appointment. You are not overreacting. Your emotions are valid. Give yourself space to name and process what you’re feeling. Journal it out, talk with a trusted friend, or simply sit with it. By acknowledging your emotional response, you prevent it from festering or turning into self-blame.

2. Remind Yourself: Your Experience Is Real

One of the most painful aspects of being dismissed by a doctor is the seed of self-doubt it can plant. But just because a provider didn’t understand your symptoms doesn’t make them any less real. Fibromyalgia is a complex, invisible illness. Unfortunately, not every practitioner is informed—or compassionate.

Remind yourself: I know what I feel. I know what I live with every day. I do not need outside validation to make my pain real.

3. Ground Yourself in What You Know

After a difficult visit, it’s helpful to re-center yourself in your own truth. Revisit your symptom journal, pain logs, or previous diagnoses. Look at the work you’ve done to manage your health—the tools you use, the strategies you’ve learned, the strength it takes to live with fibro every day.

This is your evidence. This is your truth. And no one can take it from you.

4. Talk to Your Support Network

Sometimes, you just need someone to say, “That sounds really hard,” or “I believe you.” Whether it’s a friend, partner, therapist, or fellow fibromate, reaching out after a frustrating visit can help you feel seen and understood. Support groups—online or in person—can also be a lifeline for those navigating complex healthcare systems with invisible illnesses.

You’re not alone in this struggle. So many others have had similar experiences. Sharing your story can bring comfort and clarity.

5. Reflect, Then Plan Your Next Steps

Once you’ve had time to process, decide how you want to move forward. Ask yourself:

• Do I want to give this doctor another chance?
• Would a second opinion be helpful?
• Is it time to look for a more fibro-informed provider?
• What would I like to do differently in my next visit?

You’re allowed to change providers, ask for referrals, or bring someone with you next time. Taking action—even small steps—can restore your sense of control.

6. Treat Yourself with Compassion

After a hard appointment, practice intentional self-care. Rest. Wrap up in a blanket. Watch a comfort show. Take a walk if you can. Remind yourself: you did something hard today. You showed up for your health, even when it was uncomfortable.

Don’t push yourself to bounce back immediately. Give your mind and body time to recover.

Not every medical encounter will be satisfying—and that’s an unfortunate truth many fibromates face. But a disappointing appointment does not define your worth, your illness, or your future. You are your own best ally. When the world doesn’t understand you, you can still choose to understand, believe, and support yourself.

You are resilient. You are wise. And you are worthy of care—always.

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

While browsing at my local library, I discovered this gem of a book. The title immediately resonated with me. And despite the fact that the anthology isn’t strictly about fibromyalgia, there were a lot of resonances.

I believe Shari Graydon’s, I Feel Great About My Hands holds special relevance for people living with fibromyalgia. Living with a chronic condition often means confronting constant reminders of limitation, loss, or societal misconceptions. This anthology, however, offers a refreshing counterbalance by reframing aging, and by extension, life with chronic illness, as a space for humor, self-acceptance, and unexpected joys.

For fibro warriors, the contributors’ reflections on embracing change, letting go of perfection, and finding strength in vulnerability resonate deeply. Many with fibromyalgia already face an “invisible” struggle, much like aging women often do. The book challenges cultural narratives that equate wrinkles with decline; in the same way, readers with fibro can challenge the idea that illness defines them. The humor woven through the essays is especially healing, reminding us that laughter and perspective can lighten even the hardest days.

Most importantly, the anthology celebrates resilience and the power of reframing one’s story. Just as these women choose to see beauty and freedom in aging, those with fibromyalgia can cultivate gratitude, compassion, and even delight amid challenges. Graydon’s book becomes not just about aging, but about living fully, regardless of circumstance.

Here is the book review of this wonderful anthology.

Shari Graydon’s I Feel Great About My Hands is a witty, honest, and uplifting anthology that reimagines what it means to age as a woman in today’s world. Through a collection of essays from more than fifty accomplished women—including authors, performers, politicians, and activists—Graydon curates a chorus of voices that explore the surprises, delights, and occasional absurdities of growing older. Rather than dwelling on loss, decline, or nostalgia, this book highlights the humor, freedom, and wisdom that come with maturity.

The collection opens with the idea that aging does not have to be synonymous with invisibility or despair. Instead, many of the contributors discover new forms of power and joy as they let go of the anxieties of youth. The essays range in tone from comedic to contemplative, but they are united by a refreshing refusal to be defined by societal stereotypes about aging women. Graydon herself frames the anthology with warmth and irreverence, creating space for contributors to speak candidly and often hilariously about their evolving identities.

One of the book’s strengths lies in its diversity of perspectives. Some essays focus on physical changes—gray hair, wrinkles, or hands that reveal the passage of time—while others emphasize inner transformations, such as increased confidence, self-acceptance, or freedom from external judgment. The title itself, I Feel Great About My Hands, encapsulates the playful spirit of the anthology: what society often treats as flaws can instead be embraced as badges of experience. For many of the women, aging brings not only resilience but also a sharper sense of humor and a deeper appreciation for life’s absurdities.

Graydon includes both well-known figures and lesser-known voices, which broadens the book’s reach. Celebrities and public figures share space with everyday women whose reflections are equally powerful and engaging. The result is a collection that feels both personal and universal, reminding readers that aging is a shared journey shaped by unique stories. Readers will likely recognize themselves in some essays while being surprised and delighted by others.

The book also stands out for its celebratory tone. While there are moments of poignancy, such as the acknowledgment of loss, illness, or the challenges of aging, they are always balanced by humor, resilience, and a refusal to succumb to negativity.

What makes this book particularly effective is its accessibility. The essays are short, lively, and easy to read, making the collection perfect for dipping into at any time. Yet despite their brevity, the reflections pack emotional weight and intellectual depth. The humor throughout also ensures the book never feels heavy-handed; instead, it offers a refreshing reminder that laughter is one of the best companions for aging gracefully.

In the end, Graydon’s anthology is a celebration of possibility. It reframes aging not as an end but as a continuation of life’s richness, filled with new opportunities for joy, mischief, and wisdom. I Feel Great About My Hands is a delightful, empowering, and often laugh-out-loud read that will inspire women of all ages to embrace their journeys with courage and humor.

by Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer

For fibromates living with chronic pain, fatigue, and brain fog, doctor’s appointments can feel overwhelming. You may worry about being dismissed, misunderstood, or simply forgetting what you wanted to say. But preparation is key to making the most of your time and getting the care you deserve.

Whether you’re seeing a new doctor or attending a follow-up appointment, showing up with clarity and confidence can help build trust and lead to better outcomes. Here’s how to come prepared to talk to your doctor—so your voice is heard and your needs are respected.

1. Keep a Symptom Journal

Before your appointment, start documenting your symptoms over the course of several days or weeks. Track pain levels, fatigue, sleep quality, mental fog, and any flares. Include notes on what helps or worsens your symptoms. Write down how these experiences affect your daily life—your ability to work, socialize, cook, or even get out of bed.

This kind of record provides valuable insight for your doctor and can make it easier to remember details when you’re face-to-face.

2. Write Down Key Questions and Concerns

When you’re living with fibromyalgia, brain fog can make it hard to recall important points in the moment. That’s why it helps to make a list of the main things you want to discuss. Try to limit it to the top three or four concerns so you can focus your time and energy effectively.

Some example questions:

• What treatment options are available for my symptoms?
• Can we review my medications and possible side effects?
• Should I see a specialist?
• What are the next steps if this treatment plan doesn’t help?

3. Bring a List of Medications and Supplements

Include all prescription drugs, over-the-counter medications, supplements, and herbal remedies you’re using. Note dosages and any side effects you’ve noticed. This helps your doctor assess for interactions and make informed recommendations.

4. Organize Your Health History

If you’ve seen multiple doctors or specialists, bring copies of previous diagnoses, lab results, and relevant medical notes if possible. You don’t have to compile your entire health history, but sharing key information can prevent duplication and confusion.

5. Be Honest About Your Experiences

Sometimes, we downplay symptoms or avoid mentioning mental health struggles like depression or anxiety. But being honest about what you’re feeling is critical to receiving proper care. Speak clearly and honestly—even if it’s difficult. Your doctor can only help with what they know.

6. Consider Bringing a Support Person

If you feel overwhelmed during appointments, bring someone you trust. They can help take notes, remind you of your concerns, and advocate for you if you struggle to speak up. It can also offer emotional reassurance to have someone by your side.

Being prepared doesn’t guarantee that every doctor will fully understand fibromyalgia—but it does give you the best chance of being seen, heard, and supported. When you come prepared, you advocate for your health in a powerful way. And with each visit, you gain more confidence in taking control of your care.

You know your body best—trust that, prepare well, and don’t be afraid to speak up.