Posts by Fibromyalgia Support Network

by Shelley Taylor/Guest Blogger

At the grand age of 71, my inner child is finally catching up to my own age. She has been five years old for as long as I can remember.

There was a time when she stretched into her teenage years and embraced the thrill of young love, cigarettes, and patchouli oil. Those rich, exciting memories would tempt my inner child for short periods of time, especially on random hot summer days, only to ricochet her back into a terrified, vulnerable five-year-old once again.

She remained in that age range for decades—from five to sixteen—only shifting into adulthood when need and duty demanded it. She became a wife, a mother, a caregiver, and eventually a widow. Those roles required strength and responsibility, but deep inside, there was still a frightened little girl trying to make sense of the world.

Only in the past few years has my inner child truly grown into full womanhood. Now she is steadily evolving into the Wise Crone—the wise woman on the hill who provides a safe space for tea, light conversation, or the hard, heavy talks that draw pain and turmoil from those who need comfort, feedback, or simply someone to hold space for them.

My inner child is still learning. There is always more to discover, more ways to grow, and more wisdom to gather. She reminds me daily to stay in my own lane, remain humble, and love myself. She encourages me to make my own well-being a priority rather than an afterthought. Over time, she has become a trusted companion whose guidance I have learned to respect.

She is more than intuition. She is best friends with the Holy Spirit within me, and she is deeply connected to God. She is a safe voice to listen to, especially when life becomes complicated and noisy.

Except when she wants ice cream.

Then she’s a demanding, foot-stamping five-year-old all over again—and she usually wins.

Chocolate or strawberry?

by Irene Roth/Blog Editor

When most people think about independence, they often picture someone who can do everything on their own. They imagine strength as self-sufficiency, productivity, and the ability to push through challenges without needing help. But when you live with fibromyalgia, independence often looks very different.

For fibromates, independence is not about doing everything. It is about making choices that honour your body, your energy, and your well-being. It is about learning that asking for help does not diminish your strength—it supports it.

Living with fibromyalgia requires constant decision-making. Every day begins with an assessment of how your body feels. You may wake up with enough energy to accomplish several tasks, or you may wake in the middle of a pain flare that changes every plan you had made. This unpredictability can make the traditional definition of independence feel frustrating or even unattainable.

But perhaps the definition itself needs to change.

True independence is having the freedom to listen to your body without guilt. It is deciding to rest when your body needs rest instead of forcing yourself to meet someone else’s expectations. It is recognizing that pacing is not giving up—it is a wise strategy that allows you to participate in life more consistently.

Independence also means becoming your own best advocate. Many people with fibromyalgia spend years explaining invisible symptoms to family members, employers, healthcare providers, and even friends. Learning to speak honestly about your needs takes courage. Saying, “I need to leave early,” “I can’t do that today,” or “I need a quieter environment” are acts of self-respect, not weakness.

There is also tremendous independence in learning what works uniquely for you. Perhaps you use assistive devices without embarrassment. Maybe you schedule appointments during your best hours of the day, prepare meals in stages, or divide household chores into smaller tasks. These adaptations are not signs that you are less capable. They are examples of creative problem-solving and resilience.

Many fibromates discover that independence also includes accepting support. Allowing a loved one to carry groceries, asking a neighbour for assistance, or using grocery delivery services does not mean you have failed. It means you are conserving precious energy for the activities that matter most to you. Sometimes the strongest decision is knowing when not to spend your limited energy.

Emotional independence is equally important. Fibromyalgia can invite comparisons with healthier versions of ourselves or with others whose lives appear easier. Over time, many people learn to release those comparisons. Instead of measuring success by how much they accomplish, they begin measuring it by how well they care for themselves, maintain meaningful relationships, and preserve their quality of life.

One of the greatest gifts of living with fibromyalgia is that it often teaches priorities with remarkable clarity. You learn that your energy is valuable. You become intentional about where you invest it. You begin choosing people, activities, and commitments that nourish rather than drain you.

Perhaps independence is not about never needing anyone.

Perhaps it is about having the wisdom to know what your body needs, the courage to honour those needs, and the confidence to build a life that reflects your values instead of society’s expectations.

For fibromates, independence is not measured by how much you can do alone. It is measured by how faithfully you care for yourself while continuing to create a meaningful, joyful life—one thoughtful choice at a time.

By Irene Roth/Blog Editor

Welcome to July, friends!

As we step into a new month, I invite you to pause and reflect on a simple but powerful question: What does independence really mean?

For many of us, we grew up believing that independence meant doing everything ourselves. It meant never asking for help, staying productive no matter how we felt, and measuring our worth by how much we accomplished. We learned that strength looked like self-reliance and that needing support somehow meant we were falling short.

Living with fibromyalgia gently—but firmly—invites us to rethink those beliefs.

This month, we will explore a different understanding of independence—one that is rooted not in doing more, but in living more intentionally. One that recognizes that true strength is not found in pushing through pain at all costs, but in making choices that honour your body, protect your energy, and nurture your well-being.

Redefining independence is not about giving up. It is about letting go of unrealistic expectations and embracing a life that reflects who you are today. It is about recognizing that asking for help, setting healthy boundaries, pacing your energy, and choosing rest are not signs of weakness—they are acts of wisdom and self-respect.

Throughout July, we’ll explore what it means to create a life that is truly your own. We’ll look at how independence can include accepting support without losing your sense of self. We’ll discover how standing in your power has little to do with physical ability and everything to do with self-awareness, courage, and resilience. We’ll also explore how to build an empowered, self-defined life that reflects your values instead of society’s expectations.

Fibromyalgia may place limits on your energy, but it does not limit your ability to live with purpose, kindness, creativity, or hope. While your path may look different than you once imagined, it can still be deeply meaningful and incredibly fulfilling.

Perhaps independence is less about carrying every burden alone and more about knowing which ones are truly yours to carry. Perhaps it is found in listening to your body instead of fighting it, in receiving help with gratitude instead of guilt, and in creating a life that fits your unique circumstances rather than trying to fit yourself into someone else’s definition of success.

As we journey through this month’s blogs, I hope you will discover that independence is not something fibromyalgia takes away. Instead, it becomes something richer, gentler, and more authentic. It becomes the freedom to live according to your own values, your own pace, and your own definition of a life well lived.

Thank you for being part of our Fibromates community. Whether this is your first visit or you’ve been walking alongside us for years, I hope you’ll find encouragement, practical ideas, and gentle reminders that you are stronger than you know.

Here’s to a July of growing confidence, self-compassion, and discovering that true independence is not about doing everything alone—it’s about creating a life that allows you to thrive in your own unique way.