by Breanna Gehl, Guest Blogger
Otto Ought and Wanda Want are next-door neighbors living side-by-side in an old-fashioned townhouse. The grass of Mr. Ought’s property is trimmed just-so. His side of the hedge is cut with precision, and his house is painted a practical tone of brick red with a sturdy, oak door. He likes it this way, and works hard to achieve a home of structure. Mr. Ought is full of thought and works tirelessly to accomplish his goals.
Mrs. Want grows a meadow-like flower field across her lawn that attracts bees and hummingbirds. Her house is painted a pastel lavender, with a pink, polka-dot door. Outside her house is a little rusted swinging bench, and stacks of wood that she will get to organizing -eventually. Mr. Ought says she ought to sort through that wood before it rots. Mrs. Want says she doesn’t want to, and she can’t stand the plainness of his perfectly-trimmed posies. He cuts the tops off any flowers above 12 inches high; a dreadful sight to behold Mrs. Want’s eyes.
Although they don’t always agree with each other’s ideas, Mrs. Want and Mr. Ought see the value in each other’s way of living. Mrs. Want struggles to overcome larger tasks, and Mr. Ought will often stop by to fix any cracks or leaks in her home. Mr. Ought benefits from the lovely hummingbirds who come to visit his neighbor’s garden and the warm honey tarts she brings with her; compliments of her beehive.
The Balance of Ought and Want leads to a friendly relationship. Instead of fighting each other, they discuss and consider. Together, Ought and Want helps us to overcome the heaviness of everyday life and develop a sense of self-respect and self-love. Without Want, Ought is distressed; without Ought, Want is a mess. With determination and cooperation, the pair are truly blessed.
This gentle partnership offers an important lesson for fibromates, especially when it comes to self-love. Fibromyalgia fills our minds with many oughts—I ought to do more, push harder, or keep up with others. But self-love allows space for “want”: I want to rest. I want to listen to my body. I want to honor my limits. True self-love is not choosing one voice over the other, but letting them work together with compassion. Ought gives us direction, while Want gives us kindness. And in that balance, we learn to treat ourselves not with judgment, but with care.
Hi everybody, my name is Breanna and I’m from Kitchener, Ontario. I’ve had chronic pain ever since I can remember, but I haven’t let that stop me from accomplishing great things. Five years ago, I got my Bachelor of Environmental Studies at the University of Waterloo. Before September of 2025, I was a caregiver, chef, and nurse for my disabled dog, Koda. Now that he’s gone, I’m finding myself again and trying new things. My favourite, current projects are creative writing and fiber art.
Mentally, I’m working through my understanding of perfectionism, and my value as someone who isn’t built for physical utility. Some days my ambitions make me feel like a Ferrari in a ditch; spinning its wheels and getting nowhere fast. I’m learning how to reconnect with myself and love the little things life offers us at a slow pace, such as a warm cup of tea and a bit of humor. These can go a long way for those of us who struggle to make peace with our challenges.
Very good