By Irene Roth, Blog Editor/Writer
It’s no secret, living with fibromyalgia can be an incredibly challenging experience, both physically and emotionally. The constant pain, fatigue, and cognitive difficulties can drastically alter one’s ability to function in daily life. For many, these symptoms disrupt careers, hobbies, and even relationships, leading to feelings of frustration and inadequacy. One of the most difficult aspects of adapting to life with fibromyalgia is the need to let go of perfection and accept a new, often unpredictable, normal. However, learning to embrace our new normal is crucial for maintaining emotional well-being and finding peace in the midst of chronic illness.
Perfectionism is a mindset that drives individuals to set excessively high standards for themselves, often leading to a cycle of self-criticism and dissatisfaction. While striving for excellence can be a positive trait, perfectionism becomes problematic when it is unattainable. This is especially the case for individuals living with fibromyalgia. The symptoms of fibromyalgia can make it nearly impossible to meet the same standards we once held ourselves to, whether in our professional life, personal relationships, or self-care routines.
For many people living with fibromyalgia, the need to achieve perfection may stem from a desire to prove that they are still capable, despite our illness. This desire can be fueled by societal expectations, internalized beliefs, or even pressure from loved ones. However, when perfection becomes our goal, it often leads to feelings of failure, as the unpredictable nature of fibromyalgia makes consistency difficult to achieve.
The emotional toll of striving for perfection while managing fibromyalgia can be profound. Constantly pushing ourselves to meet unrealistic standards can lead to increased stress, which in turn can exacerbate fibromyalgia symptoms. The pressure to maintain a façade of normalcy can also lead to feelings of isolation, as it may become difficult to relate to others who do not understand the challenges we face.
Moreover, the disappointment of not being able to live up to our own expectations can lead to negative self-talk and low self-esteem. We may be constantly comparing our current abilities to our pre-fibromyalgia self, leading to a sense of loss and grief. This cycle of striving and failing can be mentally and emotionally exhausting, leaving us feeling depleted and disheartened.
Here are a few ways to embrace our new normal and let go of perfectionism.
First, acknowledge the reality of your situation. Fibromyalgia is a chronic condition that requires a different approach to daily life. Accept that your abilities and energy levels may vary from day-to-day. This is crucial to developing a more compassionate and realistic self-view of your abilities.
Start by redefining what success and productivity mean to you. Instead of measuring your worth by how much you can accomplish in a day, focus on small, manageable goals that take into account your current physical and mental state. Celebrate the victories, no matter how small they may seem. Whether it’s getting out of bed, completing a task, or practicing self-care, these achievements are significant for you because it will improve your quality of life.
Second, practice self-compassion. Be kind to yourself when you fall short of your goals or when your symptoms prevent you from doing what you had planned. Understand that it’s okay to have limitations and that your worth is not determined by your productivity.
Third, connect with others who understand what you’re going through. Support groups, either in person or online, can provide a sense of community and understanding that may be lacking in your daily life. The Fibro Support Network is a great place to start. Sharing your experiences with others who are experiencing similar challenges can reduce feelings of isolation and offer valuable insights into coping strategies. You may even make friends you never expected.
Fourth, let go of perfection. This doesn’t mean you have to give up on your goals or aspirations. However, it may mean recognizing that your life is different now and that you need to approach life with flexibility and kindness. By embracing your new normal and accepting your limitations, you can reduce the emotional burden of living with fibromyalgia and focus on what truly matters—your well-being.
As you navigate through life with fibromyalgia, remember that it’s okay to ask for help, to take breaks, and to prioritize self-care. Letting go of perfection is not a sign of weakness, but a necessary step in creating a life that is sustainable and fulfilling, despite the challenges of chronic illness.